Sons of Anarchy was killer tonight.   Kurt Sutter is a hero of mine.   What a gift, and i’m not in awe very often.

I don’t even know what to think about work today.   Leadership is a balance between what is best for the goal, the ones you love and what is right, and truth is…. the reverse order is how it should be played.    That is, if want anyone to show up at your funeral.   Your loved ones will probably not be there if you havent been consistent in doing what is right.    thats the bitch of it all.

I’ve Shown the video of alice coopers “only women bleed” more than a few times on this blog.    I love my wife.   lol, she  has no sense of direction.    She’s convinced that for the last 20 years she’s kept me clean and alive.    I told her today after conceding that point and helping her navigate the lunch route that she’d be lost without me.     We both laughed and neither of us denied.    She does keep me together.

I got so much to say.   My old man used to say “I may be wrong sometimes, but I’m never in doubt”.     Thats how I feel.   he wasn’t that honest about being wrong sometimes.      I’m not sure I do either.

I deleted my facebook account today.   Partly because of the previous point, and partly because its a waste of time.   I’m not sure what facebook is good for, and there’s something about a herd mentality that  rubs me wrong.   It’s also because I have this feeling of wanting to stir up the pot.     Thats good for me, but going back to the funeral comment, it’s not going to win you any friends.   Only pot-stirrers appreciate it, maybe because they recognize that in themselves.       Wished there was a facebook for just us.   Nevermind, that probably wouldn’t work.

Throw it out there.   I read what you gotta say.    Even if you think I’m full of shit

I thank god it’s a hard life.

What has ease of living brought us?   Spoiled boys that become spoiled men, looking for a handout and an easier way.     The people I admire saw that life is hard, and worked to make it good for their own.

yah, so grab a plow handle, and get on it.   Quit your  bitching.  Quit making everyone tired.  Your joy might only come after 7 pm, but why do you expect different?      Find the joy between 7 AM and 6pm, and you’re a made man.

life is good.   It’s meant to be hard.

I’m inspired.

This is a guy who’s seen a thing or two.   A writer during world war 2.   A guy who called it like he saw it.   Got paid to do so, and that only comes from those who do what their god given talents, and a willingness to pay the price fof those talents afford them them the opportunity to do.

I’ll admit i’m not a follower of 60 minutes, but paying attention over the years has given me respect for this man.    Finding out he passed away this morning, and finding this video on a google search will probably stick with me for longer than I may realize in the coming years.   RIP Andy Rooney.     This video says it all:   You touched a nerve with us, and at the end of the day you just wanted to watch a football game.     It doesn’t get any more real than that.

It’s going to snow tomorrow.   They say, fairly hard.   I haven’t seen this situation for a while.    I’m happier than hell I’m alive to see it.

We got seasons here.  When you pop the garage in heber and get your first look of the day, it won’t look like the day before.   I’m growing to appreciate that.    The desert, for all its vast and open beauty, it had 2 weeks of the green season, and the rest was brown.       I got no choice than to appreciate where I’m at.     I won’t look anywhere else right now.   There are things to do.

Man, I think it’s who I am.

I watch people.   it’s a habit, started by intrigue and putting myself in situations where I can watch it happen.   Maybe its a sickness, but I don’t think it is.  I tend it think its 50/50 irony and curiosity.

Why do people ignore so much of what is happening around them?    Not so much the daily news, or what you think is is a good candidate for the presidency, but people themselves?

I went to church this weekend.      I reveled in the irony.   I was a church going man for most of my life, so respect for the church going man isn’t lost on me.    Respect for the true believer?  Not lost either.   You guy and gals might just be the glue that holds this whole shit ball together, in a world that could go either way.   I dig that.   I dug sitting down in my pew.   Lemme explain:

Gained a few pounds since the last time I wore a tie.   Yah, I ironed that shirt, but when I put it on the shirt bowed between the buttons.    the mirror told me that right  away.     I dug to the back of my closet, and found a short sleeved ralph lauren white shirt…. the shirt I’d ignored for so long, back in the day I still dry cleaned em — and I put it on, and it fit so good.     I felt good.   Problem is, short sleeves show tats.

So I thought for a minute.

I asked my wife, should I wear this?   To church?

My wife responded, in the way that makes me realize again, why you’re the perfect girl for me (and baby, I love you)

“lol, it’s me…. why should I care?”

So I wore it.   she probably doesn’t even know what that means to me.  I know who I am, but checking to make sure I don’t embarrass her is what I was looking for.    She didn’t care.    She was behind me all the more:   What  else could a man ask for?

I got the eye rolls (behind my back of course, reported in the car from missus Dunn).   I made sure I played the part, finding the interesting people in the crowds of the hand-shakers, trying to screw with their protocol.  A smile and a handshake, pressing for a reaction to see whats inside.     I gotta think thats the role I am tattoo’s to play now:    that all is not appears as it seems.    Tattoos don’t mean meth, don’t mean wife beaters.  My talk don’t mean stupid, and my approach don’t mean obama.    My kids are adjusted, maybe with the same problems as the theist kids with a protocol.    I see the scramble.     I know in my case, kids sense honesty.        My only hope, with my own, that they take that into themselves.   You did it with your dad, and I sure as hell did it with mine.

The speaker quoted me at the pulpet at in the meeting to close the talk.   A discussion we’d had before.    it was his time, his place and I gave him all that respect because man,…. he’s 19 and the whole world is before him.     it should be that way.    Youth needs to experience, and experience comes from doing and I’m 100% about all that.     A man needs to expose himself, and dive in.    how else do you become a man?

Long story short, I went to church.  It wasn’t about anyone else but me.   I went to support, but I loved the irony.    The  irony from the eyes around me.   The irony from where I’ve been, and from where I’ll go.    If you’re a church goer, maybe theres some value to you…. from my eyes.   Look past the tats, the shaved head and the beard and maybe you’ll see a thing.   I’m not any damn different now than when I was a regular.       Other than I facebooked on my phone during prayers, and I look different.    But protocol doesn’t determine much more than that.

I gotta say:  The thing I like most about tattoos is they are an fast indicator of who I don’t want to deal with, let alone talk to…. at least right off the bat.   They draw out the judgmental and the closed minded pretty fast.    I love the fact that that’s not who I am, and they may never know it.       it pares down a lot of bullshit, really quick.   I don’t have the time or much inclination for a lot of bullshit.   its a great thing.

I’m not anti religious.   I see how much of a place it has, its just not for me.   The zealouts I have a problem with, but a good man who can keep his balance, take care of his neighbor why would I not want to support that?  If thats his inspiration, then theres a whole helluva lot of worse things in the world.   It’s crazy to me, but I’ve come to realize that i’m just me and you’re you.    You gotta do what you gotta do.    Theres space in this world for both of us.   its a great big world.

You know what I’m saying?   Sound off:    Love to hear what you gotta say here.

What a great version of a great song.   The whole thing speaks to me.   At the very least, its gotta make you miss the beach

Been going through a foo fighter kick lately.  Love this song.

Curt cobain, you were a junkie dickhead.   Your drummer was far superior in terms of making music than you were.   There, I said it.

I  work in basically the trash/Recycling business.      I got a lot of thoughts about this, but I gotta tell you… I feel like my whole life has led up to where I’m at now.   I truly love it.

I had an  excavation business when I was 26.   Dump Trucks and hauling, Trackhoes and excavation.   Moving material and estimating quantities and haul times.

Then I got into the internet.   Sold my excavation company to dive straight into a business and technology that I knew nothing about.   I feel I did pretty well.

Then after a sketchy partnership and 10 years later, I got into really high risk and extensive marketing.  Stuff most people don’t know about and I learned a lot.

10 years of that, and I’m working for my brother.   A good thing.   Mostly, because I get to see my family a lot more.   I could write a blog about that.

I work at a recycling company now.     Marketing is a sketchy business, especially internet marketing.   Right now, I’m doing a really honest thing.    I feel like I’m making a difference, which to be honest Is what my heart of hearts has always wanted.     Its fuel ever single morning.   Its not a day off to catch my breath, or thinking of another option.    Its focus, at least for me.    I can’t help but think my whole life has led me to this point.   I’ve made more money, but coming home at night and knowing you left it all on the table…. because its good… has made a huge difference.

I don’t have much more to say, because I’m arguing with some prick on facebook.   I did however want to post a picture of contrasts.   Without contrasts, you never where you  stand I think, without guessing.    I think that contrasts have made me what I like about life.     its at least a measuring stick, without illusions.

My Nieces daughter took this picture.    I just really like the contrast.

First off, I think bill maher is a retard.   I liked religulous, but I still think he’s a bit of a retard.   I also think alot of other people are retard.     If I can, let let me counter point:

This occupy wall street bullshit.    Man, I’m torn.

I remember my folks talking about the revolution of the 60s, where the haight-ashbury crowd were high as fuck, but ended up getting a voice.

I hate politics.   I hate the one sided bullshit that it has become.   Interesting to see whats gonna happen….

Lots has happened the last few months.   Way way good things.

I had a good discussion with my brother my last ride.    My father always mentioned a person going through their “gethsemane” as it were.    he had his, I’ve had mine.    you get past it.   I don’t want to dwell on it.    Its part of life.    You either rise and fight, or you get run over.    i’ve never been run over my whole life.  I truly value that experience.    it formed me in a good way.   bla bla bla.  Too much of my blog has been my dumping ground from that, and I’m way past it.   Time to focus on the good things.   Are they not everywhere?

So my bike is still in the garage, but It’s out of registration and I won’t ride it again.      Started thinking about a new blog, and I won’t do that either.  It’s just a bike.   I made it, it didn’t make me.

been looking at other bikes lately.   My bike was hella expensive when I bought it.   nearly 30 grand.    I look back, and I’ve had nearly as many good memories on 1500 dollar bike, back in the day.

Sure, I can’t wave to the harley bitches in their fingerless gloves and assless chaps.     I found a bike today I could pay 3200 bucks today that had less miles than my bike, and I bet that owner felt the same wind that I did.    He did.  If you don’t wave to me, I could barely give a fuck.     Wished it was American, but I won’t wait.   Owned three harley and 2 jap bikes in my day.   if its 3 to 3 and you think i’m a poser, then point that bike toward the midwest and lets see who sleeps first.

I respect the Lone wolf.     I wished we had more.   I tried to join a few things, but at the end of the day I left the patches, and the clubs.    My convictions havent ever changed, and I don’t need an insignia to tell me what I stand for.      I can do that on a vespa.   Hell, I can do that in my saturn.    it’s just not nearly as fun.

here’s my question to you:      Does your bike define you?